As an extraabled person and an advocate for extraabled people who is curious, inquisitive, and exploratory, I have observed a phenomenon in the world that grieves my heart. To shield myself from getting canceled, allow me to offer a disclaimer before I get into all of it. I understand that the facts I will be sharing do not apply to everyone nor is it my intention to offend those it does not pertain to. This topic is rather delicate, even within my own story, so I shall do my best to bring dignity to this topic. On with the article!
As I became a young professional in the world, my life direction naturally gravitated towards meeting other people with extraabilities. It was like a magnet that I had no control over that pulled us into each other’s worlds. As an advocate for the last 20 years, I have traveled the world and met many people with extraabilities and their families. Additionally, most of my social media contacts are extraabled people. All of these experiences have afforded me the opportunity to listen, observe and really understand to the best of my ability the victories and challenges we as the extraabled community all face. One of the greatest challenges I have observed is the dynamic between caregivers and the ones they care for.
When I think about caregiving, one word comes to mind, freedom. Everyone wants to feel free and autonomous, and in the world of caregiving, both parties in many ways are struggling to feel self-sufficient. These dynamics can create an environment that does not lend itself to thriving. In my observation, there are many extraabled people who feel very safe with their caregivers, and many caregivers who are satisfied in their role and providing healthy, safe care for the extraabled person or people in their life. And there are also many who suffer through unhealthy caregiving dynamics.
The world of caregiving lends itself to codependent dynamics regarding the why of the caregiver’s intent. So, without support and accountability, these dynamics can become very toxic to both parties, and in extreme cases can lead to very difficult circumstances for the extraabled person. Yet, even the best, and most well-intentioned caregiver can burn out, and that alone changes the dynamics of the relationship to be more difficult. Across the board for all these varying dynamics, the overarching need to break the cycle is resources.
I see many extraabled people who feel trapped in their life circumstances. They yearn for more autonomy, to live on their own, make their own choices, and have their own resources. This is a very normal, healthy desire that should be an inherent right for them. But it is not. There are some laws, and resources in place to protect their rights, such as Adult Protective Services, but these resources fall short of providing comprehensive resources for all extraabled adults in these difficult circumstances. And just like anyone who feels unheard and limited, these conditions lend themselves to mental health struggles for the extraabled adult.
As an advocate, my greatest desire is for both parties to have freedom. Especially the extraabled people who feel the yearning to live independently. It is my vision that Making Dreams Come True Inc. would one day have the resources to provide quality care homes for any extraabled American who wants to live independently. In addition, I would like to rally for laws that protect extraabled adults in abusive circumstances. Your generous donations will make this vision possible.
Thank you for reading this blog and come back again!
